Tears

My tears are weighted
With held-in heartache
Because though I've always known the value in a 'good cry',
I've been crying for all the wrong things
All these years
And now my tears are heavy
With unsaid words,
Buried hurts,
Built up pressures,
And pushed aside needs.
And my lids have weakened
Under their weight
Unable to hold back the flood
that is
Tragically & beautifully
Me.

Torn

I know you hear
My pebbles pinging on your window
And I know too
That you won't answer.
Or possibly that my impatience
Will not allow you the time.
Either way
I find myself in that all-too-familiar place
The place where I'm wandering and lost
Needing your help
Yet not getting my answer
Because you've got your own life to live
And me,
Well, I hang up after two rings,
I only throw a handful of pebbles,
I whisper my questions to you in crowded places.

Sometimes I wonder
If you are amused
At how I mask my fears with stubbornness
Fears you know all too well
But also know that I must face them alone.
Perhaps I, too, know this
Because if I really wanted your answers,
I'd simply work on my patience.

Instead I
Walk away,
Slam the phone against the wall,
And resent your inept lipreading skills,
Blaming you
For leaving me
To face these demons alone.

Yes, I know I never gave you the chance to save me.
I'm torn.
I've always been the 'saver'; then again so have you.
I just don't know how to save myself...
Or let you save me.

Knotted Threads

Pull at the thread
That nagging little
String of a thought
That's been poking its way
Out of place.
Begin to unravel
Things held within
And watch the little thread
Grow longer
Revealing the unaddressed
The good & bad of your past
The ignored & pushed away
Feelings of your heart.
And while the knot you feel
Is as strong as the day that you placed it there,
The unknotted thread
Now flowing through your hands,
Is laying out a path
Easy to follow
And untangled from your past.